Spork me!

Last night, while lying in bed, my beloved scooted over to me and snuggled around me with her head on my chest. She's so cute, and I love to cuddle her. Lately we've been talking about "spooning" and how we don't spoon much because it's not really a comfy position for the spooner. So when she did this, she looked up at me sweetly and said "Hey honey, I'm almost spooning you." To which I replied, "Yeah, but not really, it's more like you're sporking me." We laughed really hard at that and then she offered that maybe she was more like a ladle.

Kitchen utensils and pillow talk - can't get any better than this:)

And the saga continues

*Sigh* We are still having problems with the chipmunks. We bought a trap that is supposed to be specifically for them (a have a heart one) and the little bugger just goes in it, sits on the trip pan and eats the bait! It's maddening!!! I have tried to make the trap more sensitive for the little guy's light weight, but so far no luck. When I did get it set sensitively enough, that little shit just jumped on top of it, and set it off! (so now he was on the outside of it - not where I wanted him to be!) I have tried going around the fence with a broom to tap the top of the cage while he's in it to slam it shut - but he somehow hears me way before I even get close enough, no matter how quiet I am! I have tried sitting on the porch with a baseball to throw at the cage when he is in it, but he never goes in when I am out there!

As you can see, I am speaking of these little guys in the singular sense. That is because we have only seen one milling around and eating everyday. That was up until this past Saturday, when we found another one in our garage! So we have only seen 2 since the incident with the bulkhead doors. Damn things are getting on my nerves! People always tell me, shoot 'em with a BB gun. Okay, first of all, we don't have one, secondly, when this all started I didn't want to kill them, and thirdly, I bet I have the aim of a blind raccoon. I have never shot a gun before, BB or otherwise. (except waterguns) I really wanted to try and get rid of them humanely. BUT......after the last few weeks and they are STILL there, I am open to other options. I read on the net about getting a 5 gallon bucket, putting 5 inches of water in it, and sprinkling a bag of sunflower seeds into it with a wood plank leaned against it so they can get in it. Okay, I know this sounds cruel, but I am getting DESPERATE! We set up the contraption last night, and so far we have only attracted one VERY! LARGE! SQUIRREL! It scared the bejesus out of my honey this morning, which in turn scared the bejesus out of me. So the one thing I was counting on to get rid of the chipmunks is now attracting more vermin! HELP!!!!

On a brighter note, we did manage to pick up some foam spray insulation to fill in any holes we can find so they cannot get back under the house.

So that has been the excitement around or household lately. That, and our son won two awards at the awards ceremony the other night, one for having a 90 or above average for three semesters in a row, and the other was Outstanding 8th Grader! Not bad for being raised by a couple of lesbos!

Our Weekend Saga

This weekend I was wandering around the house, and I saw our cat very interested in something right outside the window. Usually she is just looking at birds, but I thought I'd go over and see, and give her a little love while I was at it. Imagine my surprise when I saw this:

Can't see it? Here:
and this:

and this:

and this:

Did you see? Could you count them all? There were 4, yes 4, chipmunks outside the window! I told the wifey about it and when she got home from work, we investigated it a little further. We both recall seeing one chipmunk there a few days prior, and even saw one last year. But it was a bigger one. The mommy, we both guessed now. We had never seen 4 baby chipmunks there before. We went out and found a hole that they kept running into behind the insulation at the bottom of the house. We opend the bulkhead, filled in any obvious holes, and were about to fill in the outside ones when I heard a scratching. It was an insistant scratching - one that made me want to itch myself! I thought they were scratching on the other side of the open bulkhead door, but boy was I wrong! Screwed onto the underside of the doors are pieces of styrofoam insulation. Somehow all 4 babies got inside (or at least underneath) the styrofoam!

We went about prying it off (as soon as we found some plywood to cover the open basement). We pried and pried and heard lots more scratching. Suddenly, one popped out, and ran for the hole in the house. After a little more, another one did the same. We worked really hard to get the darn foam off, and finally it gave way with a huge pop! One of the remaining babies scurried up the door. Sadly, in all our effort, we accidentally broke the other one's legs. It was breathing, but couldn't move. We had to run and get our neighbor to take it away. He came over, picked it up with the gloves I gave him, and carried him off to put him out of his misery. I was so sad. Sure, I didn't want them living under my house, in my basement or in my bulkhead doors, but I didn't want to kill them. I thought about that one all night and my heart was broken. But my wife was right, they could get to be a real pest if we let them live where they were.

So we finally filled in all the exterior holes we could find. Yesterday morning, we went out and saw that they had at least dug another hole to try and get back in. (it didn't look like they made it through the barricade). I plugged that hole up with rock. I saw them outside the hole earlier in the day before I plugged it, so hopefully they are not in there and will find another home. Today we checked, and there are no more holes and the rock is still in place. Wish us luck that they have finally moved on.

What a way to spend my 3 day weekend! On the upside, I did get the pool up and running, even if I did get caught in a huge downpour in the middle of it all!

Man the Henhouse!

Our home has two bathrooms, one upstairs and one down. The one up is a full bath with shower and tub. The downstairs is a half bath with just a toilet. It's also the laundry room and where the cat litter box is kept. (There used to be a shower in this bathroom, but it has since been turned into a closet). Anyway, the downstairs bathroom door has a built-in prop on the bottom, and you have to flip it up if you want to close the door. As I have mentioned before, we have a 14 year old in the house. He thankfully loves his room, so most late afternoons, we get the downstairs to ourselves. When one of us has to pee, the door is a pain in the butt to shut in a hurry. So my wife and I have come up with a funny solution. We go in there and yell to the other one, "man the henhouse!" And that means run and close the door for me if the little-man comes down.

So if you're ever visiting my home and you hear a voice yell "man the henhouse!", duck for cover. Or at least avert your eyes:)

Settling into summer

Summer has officially started here. Well, okay, not really summer, as in 90 degree weather and vacation time, but graduation was this past weekend and the students are gone. It is quiet here. Unbelievably, and sometimes unbearably so. It's so weird to walk around and see no one. I mean not a soul.

Summers are a blessing and a curse for me. On the up side, we get out a half hour earlier:) I love that half hour! On the down side, the quiet can be deafening. I'll make it through, just as I always do. After 8 years of this, you'd think I'd be used to it, but the summers always surprise me.

This summer we have some planning to do though, so it will make the downtime go by much quicker. What planning, you may ask? Our wedding. You heard me. We get to plan a real, bona fide, dresses, guests, venue, DJ, flowers, W-E-D-D-I-N-G. Sure, we got Civil Unioned in 2005. And yes, it was the happiest day of my life. And yes, it meant a lot, and still does. But now that same sex marriage is legal here, we're going to tie the knot. Get hitched. Lock on the old ball and chain:) So, on May 15th, 2010, it will be official.

May 15th is the day we met 5 years ago. A day that changed both of our lives from miserable and painful to happy and full of love. We could potentially get hitched much earlier than that, but that is our day. And we don't want 3 anniversaries to celebrate every year! We already celebrate May 15th. And July 30th, the day we got our Civil Union. So now we will be in planning mode for a while.

We ran into some problems the first time around. We couldn't find anyone to perform our Civil Union. They were all "busy" or "not a JOP anymore". Yeah right. Just tell me you don't support us! We'll find someone else eventually. And we did. He had to come from 2 hours away, but he was great and gay, and just perfect! I hope we don't run into the same issue this time around.

I guess I don't have that much to say today. I have been very tired lately. We have been doing projects around the house (outside) such as our new deck:

Our old deck was crumbling and ugly. The previous owners had painted it red, and so every year we had to paint the damn thing. Then one day I was walking across it, and my foot went through a board! We kept the same shape, as the supports were still good. Admittedly, my dad helped a lot with the floor of this thing. But we did the railings and the steps. (and did all of the demolition). We are usually very handy, and could have done it ourselves, but my dad insisted on helping. Needless to say it looks much better and I'm not afraid of falling through it now!

We also put up some new 6 foot fence behind our garage. Then we had to saw up all the old fence and deck and figure out what to do with all of it. The projects were done by Sunday, but I am still feeling the effects. I keep saying "I need a vacation," and I really, really do. Good thing there is a 3-day weekend coming my way!

At least it's feeling more and more like spring:

Weirdness

Okay, so I haven't posted in like a gazillion days. Shoot me. I can't always find the time, even though I really want to. I guess if I spent half the time writing on here as I do reading everyone else's blog, I could squeeze it in. But, eh. I digress.

Today something happened to me three times, and when something happens three times to me in one day, it makes me want to blog about it. What is it, you may ask? Oh, it's some pretty compelling stuff!

As I have said before, I work on a college campus, so I see a lot of people during the day. Three times today I have passed someone in the hall, or on the sidewalk and said hello. They said, "hello, how are you?" and I have said "I'm good. How are you?" and they continued to walk without answering. Now I understand that this it is just a formality to say "hi how are you", or some variation thereof, but why is it that so many people fail to answer the question? Is it just me? Is it possible that people really don't care about your answer, and so therefore choose not to answer you? I know this happens all the time, but since it happened so many times today, it got me thinking. Has anyone ever though of why this is? So weird the way us humans interact sometimes!

On another note, I told one of my co-workers today that we had ttc'd in the past. Something I had never told anyone besides my wife, the doctor and, well, all none of you. It sort of slipped out during conversation, and now I wish I could take it back. It's like I let out a huge secret, one my partner and I only shared. Granted, we never said we wouldn't tell anyone, but it just felt wrong. I felt like crying after I said it. Not sure why. Maybe because it didn't work. Maybe because I was feeling vulnerable. Maybe because I am PMSing. I told her not to tell anyone, and she swore she wouldn't. It's so weird because it's not like it's such an unusual thing, ttc'ing, it's just for me, it's a private thing. I guess I didn't want to tell anyone unless it worked. That way there would be no added pressure.

My wife has told me we can try again. It was just out of the blue. She still doesn't want another child, but she said she felt she shouldn't try and take that away from me. I agree, of course, but it makes me apprehensive. It's what I've wanted for so long, but it's nerve racking...what if it works? What if she leaves me? What if she ends up resenting me? Needless to say, my apprehension has caught her off guard too. I think we will try again. I just can't see myself passing this up. I know she loves me. She says she wouldn't leave me. But it's still scary as hell!

Jillian Michaels has been kicking my ass and I'm dying!

Okay, so I'm not literally dying. The wife and I started Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred seven days ago. we are only only day 6 though, because we need to skip Mondays due to work conflicts, etc. Anyway, we have been doing Level One for six days. We get up at 5:00 am on Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays and do it during the evening on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and during the day on Sundays. Needless to say, I am feeling it, and I am exhausted!! We usually get up at 6:00 to get going and get the kid going by 7:00. So we have been losing that extra hour and, since it was Daylight Savings Time this past weekend, it is almost like we are getting up at 4:00 am! (in hindsight, it was not necessarily the best time to incorporate an early morning workout!)

This morning we both felt great when we got up (although I didn't sleep well) and we were raring to go! We did the workout and then got got ready for the day. She comes in with me to work on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays for a class, and it's so great to see her for a few minutes. Well, now she is home, and I am waiting for our lunch date time to roll around and I am CRASHING. My back hurts and my eyes are so heavy. But, I am going to stick with it because I am hoping it does what it promises, which is to make me ripped in 30 days!

Jillian Michaels is very tough. And although the workouts are only 20 minutes each, it is a butt-kicker. We are not big girls. My wife is a very healthy weight. I am about 10 pounds overweight for my height. Last year I did Power 90 with Tony Horton and lost enough weight to put me in the healthy category for BMI. Then winter and Christmas came and I went back up almost 10 lbs. I am determined to work it off and keep it off. Exercise has slowly become a part of my routine and I hope to keep it that way! If not always to lose weight, but to feel healthy. I'll let you know how it goes.

Boy, this is a boring post! I promise to come back and be funnier when I'm not feeling so battered!

The untold TTC story

Okay, I've never mentioned this on my blog before, or to anyone other than my doctor and my wife, but two years ago we tried to conceive. We purchased some frozen swimmers and injected them into my nether regions for two cycles. The first cycle I got a very faint positive, followed by several negatives. It was very early on, but I can't shake the thought that I miscarried. I have blamed myself for this all along. I lifted a heavy water bottle, and some boxes, and I am convinced I made it happen. The second cycle produced nothing.

This whole process, even though it was only two months of trying, was devastating to my marriage. You see, my wife doesn't want kids. We have one, as it states in my profile, but I didn't meet him until he was nine. Okay, so she doesn't want any more kids. And I want one of my own. She tried this with me for me, but I always knew it wasn't what she wanted. And every time my body failed, I felt as though I failed. I cried so much those 2 months. Two months. That's all I tried. So many people out there have been trying for a year, or worse two or more years. I stopped at two months for financial and emotional reasons. I cannot imagine trying for longer than, say 6 months. We stopped because she wasn't ready. She didn't want it. And that tore my heart out in itself. How could she not want a child with me? A lot of time has passed since then. We have now been together 5 years. My eggs aren't getting any younger, and she's still not on board. This is the crazy thing, some days I feel as if I will die if I don't have my own child. I tear up and feel lost and crazy. I wonder what it would feel like to be pregnant and get very caught up in my own head. Other days I feel great that we have just the three of us. That we can drop everything and do whatever we want to.(Not that we really do much). I feel glad I don't have to wake up all hours of the night, or drag through the days exhausted. I keep going back and forth between the two extreme emotions. I don't know what I want or don't want anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I ADORE my wife. I love her with all of my heart. There is no way I would not want her anymore. But she doesn't want another child. She just doesn't. And she means more to me than anything, so I go along with not trying again. But sometimes I just want to scream! Sometimes I just want to be heard about it, you know? I don't want her to be pushed away. In every other way we are perfect for one another. This is the only place where we lose each other. She can't see it from my perspective and I can't see it from hers. Most days everything is very wonderful, 99% of the time in fact. And maybe it has gotten less intense for me since she has repeatedly told me she doesn't want it. I just feel so alone in this situation. There are so many blogs out there with lesbians trying to conceive, some succeeding, with both parties fully on board.

I know I don't have a following, but if anyone is out there who has been through this before, please speak up. I need to feel less alone.

It's hard out there for a blog (or at least mine!)

So, I haven't written in many, many moons. Why? I'm not so sure. Maybe nothing has been going on in my life that I needed to get out. Maybe I have just been lazy. (it's probably the latter)

One big thing on my mind today is the finale of The L Word. Okay, there are so many things I want to say about this show. First and foremost is that over the past 6 years it has been a wonderful way to escape from reality every Sunday night. I mean who wouldn't want to see Bette and Tina make love??:) So many things have happened to these characters over the past 6 seasons, some good, some bad. We have come a long way away from where they started. Jenny used to be likable, Helen used to be mean, Bette was a cheater, and Dana, well, Dana was alive:( I miss Dana so much. She was such a funny addition to the cast, and it was a shame that they killed her off so quickly. I went from being a huge Dana/Lara fan, to a huge Shane fan, to a huge Tibette fan. Alice and Dana were great together too! When I first started watching, it was my own guilty pleasure. I thought for sure my wife wouldn't like it, but I got her hooked and we have shared many a Sunday swooning over, and yelling at, our TV. The L Word has brought so much joy into our lives. Being able to see a representation of yourself on TV was so wonderful and refreshing. I cannot say enough great things about it. Even though I didn't always agree with the paths the writers took, I still tuned in, I couldn't resist. And now we will commence watching every episode, starting with the very first, on Sunday nights to fill our void and have fun reliving the good 'ol days.

But this finale. WTF Ilene??? We spend the whole season waiting to find out who killed Jenny, only to not find out at all! Granted, I had read somewhere that was going to happen, but it was so disappointing when it did! So we are still left to ponder the question, Who killed Jenny? There are only 2 options in my mind:

1) the most logical is that Jenny killed herself. She has been teetering on the edge for so long now, this is the only reasonable explanation in my mind.

and

2) Dana. She came back to exact revenge on the person in the show that was created in her killer's image: Ilene.

I know that none of my beloved characters could have done this horrible crime. To quote Princess Bride: It's inconceivable!!

I will miss you, silly old L Word. Farewell. Don't forget to write.