I come to this point this time every year. I have a book that I have written over the past 10 years. It was mostly done about 5 years ago, and I have added and tweaked a few things over the last few years. The point is, I think it's done, and has been for a little while.
Every winter and into the spring, I get this feeling like I need to revisit it and possibly publish it. It's hard to get started on the process because, well, I'm not really sure where to start. I want an agent, but I'm not sure who to try and get. The book is a coming of age story about a young lesbian, as I'm sure you could have guessed, but the problem is, I am afraid of it being marketed as a romance novel. There is lots and lots of romance in it. Almost all of the lesbian kind. But it is also a story that I think a lot of young lesbians could relate to and fall in love with the character. I love my book very much and really want other people to read it and love it too. But I don't want it to be tucked away as trashy romance. That's not the point of it at all.
I've sent it to one of the professors here to read and critique, but chickened out and retracted the email. He knows about part of it because when I was a senior in college (here) I wrote a play that got produced on the main stage. It was about an experience I had with my best friend when I was 17, with some extra stuff that never happened thrown in for good measure...I mean, who would want to go to a play where the lead actors (both women) almost hook up one night, but then chicken out? Exactly, no one. So I added some sex. I have always had a knack for telling stories with sex in them. When I was a junior in high school we had to write short stories for one of my English classes. At the end of the assignment, we passed our stories around to the rest of the class to read and critique. Mine had sex in it, and it was the only one that did. All of my peers gave me an A+, but the teacher thought it was too racy and gave me a B. I don't know where this "gift" came from, but all of my stories throughout the years have had some racy scene or another.
The problem is, I am not someone you would look at, or even know pretty well, and know this side of me. I am someone who is pretty square in some ways. I never did drugs. I never drank when I was younger, and still really don't drink at all. In fact I can count on one hand the number of times I have been really drunk! I think the reason for this may have come from watching 2 older brothers and an older sister make mistakes, but it could also be my anxiety disorder and the fear of being out of control. The point is that I am not who people would think would write a romanc-y type book.
I work in academia, which means that there are a lot of people here who I would be embarrassed to have them read it. But one of my bosses brings up the fact that I am writing a book at a lot of functions. My direct bosses' husband is a pretty famous author (I won't say his name here), and was involved in a book that was very recently at the top of the N*Y* Time*s Best*seller List, and could be a very valuable resource for me, but I'm a chicken. They are not the type of people who read romance, or even fiction novels. They are the straight-laced non-fiction reading type. What am I so afraid of? I wrote the book for young lesbians, so they can see they're not alone. But I am scared that if I do publish it, my colleagues will read it, and then what?
I see from my map that people have been visiting here, but I am sure no one will comment on this. Would you read a book like this? I wish I could just make up my mind and go for it! What if I am sitting on a best seller???
Friday, January 22, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Year in Review
2009 mostly sucked. There. I said it. Well, really it sucked from the summer on. First it was the chipmunk infestation (see my earlier post about that), then we had another problem. One day I was sitting in my living room watching TV, and I kept hearing this clicking noise. I told the wife about it and she started hearing it too. For several days we heard this noise and tried to stop it by moving the clock, changing the lightbulb (although not sure how that would have helped), and various other things. None of this worked of course, and we just suffered on with the incessant clicking. Sometimes it would stop for a while, and then it would start up again. One day, as I backed into our driveway, my wife said "Oh no!" and I knew we were in trouble. While I was backing in, she could see the corner of the house where the living room and the kitchen meet (actually, the living room juts out further then the kitchen by about 5 feet or so) and she saw GASP! Bees! Going into a tiny hole in the space where the lower roof meets the house! I know what you are thinking, Gee your house is holey! (*See the Chipmunk story previously mentioned*) But actually, none of the holes we filled in were that big, and the house is over 100 years old! Give me a break!:) But really, our house is in great condition, and we love it a lot.
So anyway, back to the Bees. We realized then that the clicking noise we heard was actually their stingers hitting the side of the house as they went in the hole and rounded the corner into where they built their nest! In my living room wall! So we unpacked the groceries and went, reluctantly, into our living room. The wife carefully placed her ear against the wall and let me just tell you, have you ever watched a horror film where you hear the sound of thousands of swarming bees? Well that is what was in our wall. And when I listened to it, I got the heebee jeebees (no pun intended) and couldn't sleep all night. It was awful! And scary! And absolutely disgusting! But, being the strong willed women that we are, we got a bunch of bee spray and suited up. Oh yes, I mean we got on long pants, hoodies, goggles and gloves in the middle of summer, when it was oh, about 9 bazillon degrees out. I wanted to take a moment here to say that these were Yellow Jackets, not Honey Bees. There's a huge difference. First of all, honey bees will not only build their nest in your wall, but your wall will most definately start oozing honey out of it. Which may sound fun, but from what I hear, replacing a wall in your house is totally not fun at all. So thank goodness that we only had yellow jackets. And I say this only because of the honey part, not because they are nicer or placid. No, if you so much as LOOK at a yellow jacket sideways, it will come after you to sting you. And don't you dare mess with its nest! So there we were, all bundled up with our ladder out, and our neighbor came out and took a picture. Great. We never did see it, but I can only imagine. I should try and get a copy from him to post here. You would get a great laugh out of it!
Back to the story. For several days we tried all different sprays. We researched and found out that you should spray them after sundown, since most would be in there at that time. We tried foam sprays and regular sprays and we nearly went out of our minds. You see, where they built it, it was nearly impossible to get to from the outside with a spray, but oh did we try! When that didn't seem to work, we called an exterminator. This lovely chap informed me they could take care of our problem for a whopping $200-$350. Now, I don't know about you, but I don't have that kind of cash just coming out of my ass. So I told him I would call him back when I thought it over. It took me all of 2 seconds to "think it over" and I decided there must be a better (i.e. cheaper) way. Then I got a brilliant idea! We would poke two small holes in the wall on the inside of the house, one above where we could hear the nest, and one below, and each of us would spray a can of foam insulation into the holes and effectively insulate the wall and crush all the bees. Can I just tell you what a genius I am? This idea worked so perfectly, I almost didn't believe it myself! For several days after I would go over to the wall and put my ear up to it, and nothing! Not a sound! Oh, I was so happy! Of course, now we know we have a mixture of insulation and dead bees in this one section of the wall, but there is no way anyone could tell unless we said something. And if the exterminators had come, we would just have the dead bees and no insulation, and be out $350.00, so we came out ahead I think. We also filled in the hole they were going in with the insulation, cut off the excess, painted it, and Voila! Everything was back to normal. The holes are undetectable, the house looks untouched, and we no longer have a disgusting swarm of bees in the wall. The whole process took us about 2-3 weeks from hearing them to figuring out what to do. And the final solution took all of 10 minutes! ugggggghhhhh!
So that was just one story about "How 2009 Almost Totally Sucked". Other topics I will cover in future posts:
So anyway, back to the Bees. We realized then that the clicking noise we heard was actually their stingers hitting the side of the house as they went in the hole and rounded the corner into where they built their nest! In my living room wall! So we unpacked the groceries and went, reluctantly, into our living room. The wife carefully placed her ear against the wall and let me just tell you, have you ever watched a horror film where you hear the sound of thousands of swarming bees? Well that is what was in our wall. And when I listened to it, I got the heebee jeebees (no pun intended) and couldn't sleep all night. It was awful! And scary! And absolutely disgusting! But, being the strong willed women that we are, we got a bunch of bee spray and suited up. Oh yes, I mean we got on long pants, hoodies, goggles and gloves in the middle of summer, when it was oh, about 9 bazillon degrees out. I wanted to take a moment here to say that these were Yellow Jackets, not Honey Bees. There's a huge difference. First of all, honey bees will not only build their nest in your wall, but your wall will most definately start oozing honey out of it. Which may sound fun, but from what I hear, replacing a wall in your house is totally not fun at all. So thank goodness that we only had yellow jackets. And I say this only because of the honey part, not because they are nicer or placid. No, if you so much as LOOK at a yellow jacket sideways, it will come after you to sting you. And don't you dare mess with its nest! So there we were, all bundled up with our ladder out, and our neighbor came out and took a picture. Great. We never did see it, but I can only imagine. I should try and get a copy from him to post here. You would get a great laugh out of it!
Back to the story. For several days we tried all different sprays. We researched and found out that you should spray them after sundown, since most would be in there at that time. We tried foam sprays and regular sprays and we nearly went out of our minds. You see, where they built it, it was nearly impossible to get to from the outside with a spray, but oh did we try! When that didn't seem to work, we called an exterminator. This lovely chap informed me they could take care of our problem for a whopping $200-$350. Now, I don't know about you, but I don't have that kind of cash just coming out of my ass. So I told him I would call him back when I thought it over. It took me all of 2 seconds to "think it over" and I decided there must be a better (i.e. cheaper) way. Then I got a brilliant idea! We would poke two small holes in the wall on the inside of the house, one above where we could hear the nest, and one below, and each of us would spray a can of foam insulation into the holes and effectively insulate the wall and crush all the bees. Can I just tell you what a genius I am? This idea worked so perfectly, I almost didn't believe it myself! For several days after I would go over to the wall and put my ear up to it, and nothing! Not a sound! Oh, I was so happy! Of course, now we know we have a mixture of insulation and dead bees in this one section of the wall, but there is no way anyone could tell unless we said something. And if the exterminators had come, we would just have the dead bees and no insulation, and be out $350.00, so we came out ahead I think. We also filled in the hole they were going in with the insulation, cut off the excess, painted it, and Voila! Everything was back to normal. The holes are undetectable, the house looks untouched, and we no longer have a disgusting swarm of bees in the wall. The whole process took us about 2-3 weeks from hearing them to figuring out what to do. And the final solution took all of 10 minutes! ugggggghhhhh!
So that was just one story about "How 2009 Almost Totally Sucked". Other topics I will cover in future posts:
- My wife's mysterious illness(es) and subsequent testing/curiousness
- Our son getting the Swine Flu
- Me getting all sorts of various viruses/illnesses
- My ankle/achilles tendon issues and subsequent testing/curiousness
- Our son and then my wife getting the stomach flu:( YUCK!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Wow! 2 posts in one week!
I know, it's amazing! I can't believe it myself. I just had to jump on and write this quick little story.
Last week we had a snowstorm that lasted 3 days and it gave us 9" of snow, which isn't a lot for us, but still. Today it is very cold and the windchill has got to be around zero. I tell you this because I had to run to the post office earlier, which is about a block away, so I walked. I was freezing to say the least and was walking very fast to get back. I came up behind what I am assuming is one of our students back from break early. Not only did he not have a heavy coat on, but get this, he was wearing FLIP FLOPS! (Thongs for some of you in other regions). As in no socks, bare feet, with just a slight piece of rubber between him and the snowy, wet ground! What is wrong with people these days???
Now, I'm not trying to be sexist here, but it didn't surprise me that this person was male. My wife and I sometimes stumble upon those outrageous videos shows, and I have to say, watching those makes me glad that I am 1) a lesbian, and 2) a woman...although I guess those two things go hand in hand:) Have you ever noticed how many of those videos show some male or group of males doing the dumbest things and then getting hurt? About 95% of them! Now, I am not a man-hating lesbian. I have several men in my life that I know and love. But there must be something in their brain that tells them to do stupid stuff like, I dunno, jump off a cliff and break their leg, or skateboard down a railing and nail their nuts, or WEAR FLIP FLOPS IN WINTER IN THE NORTHEAST!
Okay, End Rant:)
Last week we had a snowstorm that lasted 3 days and it gave us 9" of snow, which isn't a lot for us, but still. Today it is very cold and the windchill has got to be around zero. I tell you this because I had to run to the post office earlier, which is about a block away, so I walked. I was freezing to say the least and was walking very fast to get back. I came up behind what I am assuming is one of our students back from break early. Not only did he not have a heavy coat on, but get this, he was wearing FLIP FLOPS! (Thongs for some of you in other regions). As in no socks, bare feet, with just a slight piece of rubber between him and the snowy, wet ground! What is wrong with people these days???
Now, I'm not trying to be sexist here, but it didn't surprise me that this person was male. My wife and I sometimes stumble upon those outrageous videos shows, and I have to say, watching those makes me glad that I am 1) a lesbian, and 2) a woman...although I guess those two things go hand in hand:) Have you ever noticed how many of those videos show some male or group of males doing the dumbest things and then getting hurt? About 95% of them! Now, I am not a man-hating lesbian. I have several men in my life that I know and love. But there must be something in their brain that tells them to do stupid stuff like, I dunno, jump off a cliff and break their leg, or skateboard down a railing and nail their nuts, or WEAR FLIP FLOPS IN WINTER IN THE NORTHEAST!
Okay, End Rant:)
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Yes, I'm still alive!
Well hello there. Long time no see! I've been on a bit of a break from blogging lately, as you can tell, although I never did quite get into posting regularly anyway. (Although I promise to try more!) I guess work was incredibly busy for the past few months. Students wanting to graduate and all seems to take up a lot of time!
Life has been really great. We are chugging along on the wedding plans and had a lovely holiday together. I turn 33 on the 19th and the next day our little Cub will turn 15! He will go to take his permit test which I have to admit is a bit scary and exciting all at the same time. He came into my life when he was just 9. All short and chubby and cute. Now he towers over me at 5'9" (I am only 5' 3" and 3/4's:)). He has become tall and lean and handsome. He is very good in school still and doesn't even need to study, which ticks his mom and I off a bit since we always had to! He is so mature and responsible in so many ways, yet still our little boy in a lot of others. Example: A few months ago he was in the kitchen and we have a light above the sink. I mentioned to him to turn it off when he left the room. A few minutes later he is still in there, so I go back in to find him looking around for the switch to turn it off. He asked me where the darn switch was and I walked over casually and flipped the little button in plain sight on the light itself:) He also has a hard time getting dishes into the sink (leaves them on the counter sometimes) and always wants one of us to make him something to eat at various times of the day. I have been trying to break him of this habit, but my darling wife still caters to him a lot. She's really cute, so I let her get away with it:)
I only have a few more minutes before I have to go, but thought I'd throw this tidbit in....my wife looked at me the other day and told me she thinks by the end of the year I will have that baby I've always wanted....WTF??? I am happy and all, but that was out of nowhere! We'll see what happens on that front, as we are trying to get rid of all of the debt in our lives and plan our wedding....not really a good time to be shopping for sperm! Not to mention I still have to fit into my dress!
Life has been really great. We are chugging along on the wedding plans and had a lovely holiday together. I turn 33 on the 19th and the next day our little Cub will turn 15! He will go to take his permit test which I have to admit is a bit scary and exciting all at the same time. He came into my life when he was just 9. All short and chubby and cute. Now he towers over me at 5'9" (I am only 5' 3" and 3/4's:)). He has become tall and lean and handsome. He is very good in school still and doesn't even need to study, which ticks his mom and I off a bit since we always had to! He is so mature and responsible in so many ways, yet still our little boy in a lot of others. Example: A few months ago he was in the kitchen and we have a light above the sink. I mentioned to him to turn it off when he left the room. A few minutes later he is still in there, so I go back in to find him looking around for the switch to turn it off. He asked me where the darn switch was and I walked over casually and flipped the little button in plain sight on the light itself:) He also has a hard time getting dishes into the sink (leaves them on the counter sometimes) and always wants one of us to make him something to eat at various times of the day. I have been trying to break him of this habit, but my darling wife still caters to him a lot. She's really cute, so I let her get away with it:)
I only have a few more minutes before I have to go, but thought I'd throw this tidbit in....my wife looked at me the other day and told me she thinks by the end of the year I will have that baby I've always wanted....WTF??? I am happy and all, but that was out of nowhere! We'll see what happens on that front, as we are trying to get rid of all of the debt in our lives and plan our wedding....not really a good time to be shopping for sperm! Not to mention I still have to fit into my dress!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Spork me!
Last night, while lying in bed, my beloved scooted over to me and snuggled around me with her head on my chest. She's so cute, and I love to cuddle her. Lately we've been talking about "spooning" and how we don't spoon much because it's not really a comfy position for the spooner. So when she did this, she looked up at me sweetly and said "Hey honey, I'm almost spooning you." To which I replied, "Yeah, but not really, it's more like you're sporking me." We laughed really hard at that and then she offered that maybe she was more like a ladle.
Kitchen utensils and pillow talk - can't get any better than this:)
Kitchen utensils and pillow talk - can't get any better than this:)
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
And the saga continues
*Sigh* We are still having problems with the chipmunks. We bought a trap that is supposed to be specifically for them (a have a heart one) and the little bugger just goes in it, sits on the trip pan and eats the bait! It's maddening!!! I have tried to make the trap more sensitive for the little guy's light weight, but so far no luck. When I did get it set sensitively enough, that little shit just jumped on top of it, and set it off! (so now he was on the outside of it - not where I wanted him to be!) I have tried going around the fence with a broom to tap the top of the cage while he's in it to slam it shut - but he somehow hears me way before I even get close enough, no matter how quiet I am! I have tried sitting on the porch with a baseball to throw at the cage when he is in it, but he never goes in when I am out there!
As you can see, I am speaking of these little guys in the singular sense. That is because we have only seen one milling around and eating everyday. That was up until this past Saturday, when we found another one in our garage! So we have only seen 2 since the incident with the bulkhead doors. Damn things are getting on my nerves! People always tell me, shoot 'em with a BB gun. Okay, first of all, we don't have one, secondly, when this all started I didn't want to kill them, and thirdly, I bet I have the aim of a blind raccoon. I have never shot a gun before, BB or otherwise. (except waterguns) I really wanted to try and get rid of them humanely. BUT......after the last few weeks and they are STILL there, I am open to other options. I read on the net about getting a 5 gallon bucket, putting 5 inches of water in it, and sprinkling a bag of sunflower seeds into it with a wood plank leaned against it so they can get in it. Okay, I know this sounds cruel, but I am getting DESPERATE! We set up the contraption last night, and so far we have only attracted one VERY! LARGE! SQUIRREL! It scared the bejesus out of my honey this morning, which in turn scared the bejesus out of me. So the one thing I was counting on to get rid of the chipmunks is now attracting more vermin! HELP!!!!
On a brighter note, we did manage to pick up some foam spray insulation to fill in any holes we can find so they cannot get back under the house.
So that has been the excitement around or household lately. That, and our son won two awards at the awards ceremony the other night, one for having a 90 or above average for three semesters in a row, and the other was Outstanding 8th Grader! Not bad for being raised by a couple of lesbos!
As you can see, I am speaking of these little guys in the singular sense. That is because we have only seen one milling around and eating everyday. That was up until this past Saturday, when we found another one in our garage! So we have only seen 2 since the incident with the bulkhead doors. Damn things are getting on my nerves! People always tell me, shoot 'em with a BB gun. Okay, first of all, we don't have one, secondly, when this all started I didn't want to kill them, and thirdly, I bet I have the aim of a blind raccoon. I have never shot a gun before, BB or otherwise. (except waterguns) I really wanted to try and get rid of them humanely. BUT......after the last few weeks and they are STILL there, I am open to other options. I read on the net about getting a 5 gallon bucket, putting 5 inches of water in it, and sprinkling a bag of sunflower seeds into it with a wood plank leaned against it so they can get in it. Okay, I know this sounds cruel, but I am getting DESPERATE! We set up the contraption last night, and so far we have only attracted one VERY! LARGE! SQUIRREL! It scared the bejesus out of my honey this morning, which in turn scared the bejesus out of me. So the one thing I was counting on to get rid of the chipmunks is now attracting more vermin! HELP!!!!
On a brighter note, we did manage to pick up some foam spray insulation to fill in any holes we can find so they cannot get back under the house.
So that has been the excitement around or household lately. That, and our son won two awards at the awards ceremony the other night, one for having a 90 or above average for three semesters in a row, and the other was Outstanding 8th Grader! Not bad for being raised by a couple of lesbos!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Our Weekend Saga
This weekend I was wandering around the house, and I saw our cat very interested in something right outside the window. Usually she is just looking at birds, but I thought I'd go over and see, and give her a little love while I was at it. Imagine my surprise when I saw this:
Can't see it? Here:
and this:
and this:
and this:
and this:
Did you see? Could you count them all? There were 4, yes 4, chipmunks outside the window! I told the wifey about it and when she got home from work, we investigated it a little further. We both recall seeing one chipmunk there a few days prior, and even saw one last year. But it was a bigger one. The mommy, we both guessed now. We had never seen 4 baby chipmunks there before. We went out and found a hole that they kept running into behind the insulation at the bottom of the house. We opend the bulkhead, filled in any obvious holes, and were about to fill in the outside ones when I heard a scratching. It was an insistant scratching - one that made me want to itch myself! I thought they were scratching on the other side of the open bulkhead door, but boy was I wrong! Screwed onto the underside of the doors are pieces of styrofoam insulation. Somehow all 4 babies got inside (or at least underneath) the styrofoam!
We went about prying it off (as soon as we found some plywood to cover the open basement). We pried and pried and heard lots more scratching. Suddenly, one popped out, and ran for the hole in the house. After a little more, another one did the same. We worked really hard to get the darn foam off, and finally it gave way with a huge pop! One of the remaining babies scurried up the door. Sadly, in all our effort, we accidentally broke the other one's legs. It was breathing, but couldn't move. We had to run and get our neighbor to take it away. He came over, picked it up with the gloves I gave him, and carried him off to put him out of his misery. I was so sad. Sure, I didn't want them living under my house, in my basement or in my bulkhead doors, but I didn't want to kill them. I thought about that one all night and my heart was broken. But my wife was right, they could get to be a real pest if we let them live where they were.
So we finally filled in all the exterior holes we could find. Yesterday morning, we went out and saw that they had at least dug another hole to try and get back in. (it didn't look like they made it through the barricade). I plugged that hole up with rock. I saw them outside the hole earlier in the day before I plugged it, so hopefully they are not in there and will find another home. Today we checked, and there are no more holes and the rock is still in place. Wish us luck that they have finally moved on.
What a way to spend my 3 day weekend! On the upside, I did get the pool up and running, even if I did get caught in a huge downpour in the middle of it all!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
